Moscow: A Perspective on Angels

Perspective is valuable. Getting to Moscow and becoming part of an amazing group that hopes to resurrect the East-West Accord, and do what we can to preserve a semblance of civil discourse between the east and the west, was not an easy thing. There will come the matter of what to call this thing and how to agree on how it will operate, and where, but for now, it is enough that we find places to agree.

This journey would not have been possible without a lot of help...as well as angels...along the entire path. After my passport and visa application got hung up in the San Francisco Russian Visa Issuing Center, the strong endorsement of Deb Palmari, the Honorary Consulate of Denver, as well as a few key people at the Russian Embassy in DC, shook loose my Russian visa. The day before my planned departure, it was rescued and issued by a wonderful Consul, named Alexey Kovalenko-Narochnitskiy, at the Russian Consulate of San Francisco.“This meeting is important,” said Kovalenko. “We will make sure that we help you to get to Moscow and appreciate what you are trying to do.”

While the Russian Embassy did their part, a certain international overnight carrier did not; loosing the envelope with the precious passport and visa somewhere in Memphis. Not being a shy retiring thing, I did the only sensible thing and called the CEO's office and demanded answers. Turns out that when you do that (well, his email and phone number ARE on their website) things begin to happen. I would not call them angels, but many calls and twenty four hours late, I did end up going to their distribution center here in Denver to retrieve the documents, without which, I could not travel. Their fumble resulted in a day's trip delay and nearly nine hundred dollars in flight changes for FRUA, which I am determined we will recover. As a tiny member group, that money will make a big difference to our work...for them, it will be merely public relations...or it will be if they don't make us whole.

Having ordered rubles at my bank's foreign exchange desk over a week prior, I went to pick them up a few days before leaving, only to discover that they had never arrived and would not, although no one chose to inform the customer. The result; a higher exchange rate at the airport, but a pleasant experience while in Moscow dealing with a Russian bank. Thank heavens for their wonderful bank representative, because, unlike my children, my Russian is quite horrible. 

While in Russia, my friend Daria, a young Russian journalist who has been my guest here in America, tried very hard to help me with my appointment at the Moscow department of Social Welfare.  We didn't succeed, but we tried together, and that is important. She represents millions like her, who carry the true spirit of the Russian people, and who understands our mission, as I hope that we do, regardless of what our governments do.

Most of all, I thank another true Angel and friend, Bea Evans, President of Ties Adoptive Homeland Journey program for facilitating my trip arrangements from flights to hotel to drivers, and translators. FRUA has a long-standing, mutually respectful, relationship with Ties Adoptive Homeland Journey. Had I attempted the usual web travel resources, and not asked them to facilitate my travel arrangements, when the delay happened, I doubt I would have had options. Bea re-arranged all my departure arrangements, and managed to make it happen while on vacation in northern Wisconsin!

While I was in Russia, the rest of the FRUA National Board, angels to all of us in FRUA, kept our other initiatives moving – the new Family Focus Digital Edition, the membership drive, the new educational initiatives, the 20^th anniversary winter edition of Family Focus to celebrate our big anniversary. And wonderful FRUA Regional Chapter volunteers for Mid-Atlantic, Upper Midwest and Pacific Northwest put together three amazing events to honor our guests from Ukraine, Latvia, Moldova, Kyrgyzstan, Georgia and Armenia, which helped us maintain our balance among our children's birth countries.

The critical contacts we have made will play out over the coming months and years, as FRUA continues this effort to raise awareness and extend the reach of our important mission. Our efforts are focused on offering hope, help and community to adoptive families. “Actions,” for which we have been commended just recently by no less than Sergey Chumarev, Senior Consul at the Russian Embassy, "which are in full compliance with the principle of the best interest of the child." 

Moscow: also that week

Against the week's background of need, and hope, and protest, I balance an incident from Tuesday afternoon at the US-Russia Forum.

Most of the attendees of the Forum had carefully skirted the situation with Ukraine, but one fellow put it right in my face. One of the Russian speakers, Vladimire Kozin, Professor of the Russian Academy of Military Sciences, said to me during a break, that there had been a Russian attempt “to liberate the Ukrainian orphans near Donetsk, who were being shelled, but we failed to protect them,”

I resisted the urge to let my jaw drop. “What do you mean?” I asked evenly.

“We tried to bring them back to Russia to protect them,” he said, his face the color of ripe beets and his shoulders in military line. “They were taken. You know that there have been forty eight deaths of orphans at American hands. (referring to his number for Russian-born children believed abused in the US.) We were trying to keep them safe.”

I clamped my teeth shut. 

The topic of orphans in the eastern regions of Ukraine is actually something about which FRUA has been approached about becoming involved (more about that another time), but not from the perspective he described. I wanted to say, “Don't you think Russia has enough orphans already?” But I didn't. Instead I said “I think you may have missed my message here; ninety nine percent of our adoptive families and kids are doing so well in the US. And frankly, those children are Ukrainian citizens and it is the job of the Ukrainian government to decide what is best for them.”

He glowered at me, and opened his mouth to respond but before he could say a word, a tactful professor from Moscow University pulled him away.

The week held a seesaw of news. I had not been able to secure a meeting at an individual orphanage. Then my friend, Daria Danilova, a young and influential Russian journalist (who visited my home in Denver for dinner last December while in the US as a guest of our State Dept) arranged for me to meet Vladimir Petrosyan, Head of the Department of Social Welfare of Moscow. I was delighted; he is in charge of all Moscow's orphanages and if there is ever a chance to begin to change the impression of western adoptive families, he would be it. 

Then, the day before we are to meet, he suddenly decides he cannot meet me without proper “diligence.” He requests credentials, an agenda, the purpose of my visit. I comply and hear nothing. By Friday, the day of my departure I take matters into my own hands. If he won't meet me; I'll go to him. I take my packet of materials about FRUA, arrange a cab to Moscow City Hall, and proceed to find the Office of Social Welfare. I find it, but am told he is not there. “That's fine,” I say handing over the FRUA packet. “But here is information about our adoptive families." Russia want's information about the success of our families and now you have some here. I hope Mr.  Petrosyan will meet with me next time.” 

 I get back in the cab and go to the airport. But this is not the end of the story. You see, Moscow is doing something very major with its orphanages. All of them. They are being turned into "social family" homes. 

It was explained to me that half the children in every Moscow orphanage are being shipped out to country orphanages, to be warehoused. I cannot imagine that overcrowding, or the confusion of where and why they are moving. Those who remain are about to become “social families” of seven to nine children, sorted into age-ranges, then into social family apartments in the remodeled orphanages; complete with a weekday “mother” and a “weekend mother.” Now I know people sometimes joke that none of us get to pick our families, but this is something else. These kids truly are the luckier ones among Russia's orphans...but what about the ones shipped to the country? Of course, Moscow gets to say that it has reduced the population in Moscow orphanages by half.

Against this backdrop, the Kremlin held a massive rally on Red Square that week; a celebration of Russian “Big Families.” I missed the actual event hosted by President Putin, but for days after on Red Square, they were taking down the the massive stadium scaffolding and young Russian families wandered about pushing baby carriages and holding the hands of multiple children. To complete the celebration, GUM Department store on Red Square was holding a major exhibition celebrating Soviet autos. I'm no expert on the square, squat, notoriously capricious transportation of that era, but nostalgia for all things Soviet is in the air.

FRUA Awards Two 2013 Student Scholarships

For the fourth year, Families for Russian and Ukrainian Adoption, including neighboring countries, (FRUA) is pleased to announce the distributing scholarships through its FRUA Scholarship Program. FRUA has awarded two 2013 scholarships: $1,000 for a high school senior, and $1,000 for a post-secondary student. This is the only scholarship program created specifically for students adopted from the former Soviet bloc countries.

The FRUA 2013 Scholarship for the High School Senior was awarded to Chris McAttee, the son of Eric and Sally McAttee, members of FRUA-Wisconsin. The McAttee family adopted him from Russia in 1998, when he was not quite six-years-old. Chris, an honor student, has just graduated from Pius XI High School in Milwaukee and plans to attend the University of Wisconsin, with the goal of practicing pediatric medicine.

Chris was elected Circuit Judge and State Senator at Badger Boy’s State, Wisconsin. Chris has explored his heritage for the past ten years through Dnipro, a Ukrainian Folk Dance Ensemble, which performs at the annual FRUA Yarmarka. He joined the dance group in third grade, and now is an instructor of younger students.

David, Lantz, this year’s winner of the FRUA 2013 Scholarship Award for Post-Secondary Students, is the son of Nanci Lantz of Inverness Place, Cincinnati. He was two when he came from Russia in 1994 to live in the United States. His family was active in the Ohio Chapter of FRUA, INC when there was an active chapter there. An Eagle Scout, David found a good fit with the College of Mt. Saint Joseph in Cincinnati, where he is majoring in history. He serves as a college tour guide and is active in Drama, Pep Band, peer tutoring, and as a new student orientation leader.

The FRUA National Scholarship Committee follows a rigorous review process. This year, FRUA received 22 scholarship applications; seven from young men and 16 applications from young women. 2013 Scholarship Committee Chair Mara Kamen noted that “As in previous years, the applications were high-quality and the applicants are incredibly impressive young adults!”

The twenty two applicants were adopted from across the former Soviet Union, coming from Russia, Uzbekistan, Ukraine, Romania, Moldova and Kazakhstan. Their family's memberships spread across FRUA chapters in Missouri, New England, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, Washington DC / Maryland / Virginia, and Wisconsin, and we had unaffiliated membership applicants from Florida, Georgia and Ohio.

With a field of wonderful applicants, we wish that there could have been more than two winners. The fact is that we can continue this scholarship program due to the generosity of FRUA members and friends who donated to the FRUA year-end giving appeal. The number and size of the scholarships are dependent upon available funds. We noticed something this year that has not occurred before; a few applications, not included in the total above, came in from students whose families were not paid FRUA members. To be considered for the scholarships, the students must be both adopted from a former Soviet bloc country and the families of applicants must be current, paid FRUA member families. For anyone looking toward applying next year, please take note of this.

FRUA’s National Board of Directors Scholarship Committee looks not just at applicant's academic records, but at the challenges they have overcome, as well as their service to their communities. We congratulate our two scholarship winners, Chris and David, and are delighted to recognize the accomplishments and abilities of all our talented FRUA teens. Teens who did not receive a scholarship this year are invited to re-apply, for the post-secondary scholarship next year.

What our kids can accomplish with the love and support of families who get them the help they need to reach their potential, is absolutely amazing! As we adoptive families know; having a family that supports you, no matter what, can make all the difference in the world in the life of a child.

My Best Regards,

Jan Wondra

Acting Chair

Families for Russian and Ukrainian Adoption

We're on the Record: It's About the Children

January 1, 2013....One week can change everything. When the lower house of the Duma, Russian Federation, voted on December 21^st to ban adoption of Russian orphans by Americans, we were barely seven weeks into the new Bi-lateral Agreement on Inter-country Adoption, between the United States and Russia. It is a good agreement; requiring background information on the children, parenting education and a parenting plan for the adoptive parents, as well as a progress reporting structure and safeguards for adoptive children. As FRUA's liaison to the US Dept. of State's Office of Children's Issues, I represented FRUA and the voices of adoptive parents during the more than two years that our State Dept. spent crafting the agreement. FRUA's goal; to do what we can to help keep the doors of adoption open.

At the zenith of the reactive whirlwind, last Friday, December 27^th, President Putin signed the swift and complete ban on adoption by Americans; shocking people around the world. On behalf of the National Board of Directors of FRUA, our regional chapters and membership world-wide, I issued a statement the next day, condemning the actions taken by the government of the Russian Federation, which had nothing to do with orphans and everything to do with turning the most vulnerable of children into political pawns.

The effects of this ban are heartbreaking for those 500 to 1,000 orphan children and the prospective American parents in-process to complete their adoptions. It is especially cruel for special needs children, who have virtually no chance to be adopted in Russia. Our government does not yet know how Russian will implement the ban, which went into effect today, but has indicated that it will advocate en-mass, on humanitarian grounds, for the completion of adoptions in process.

As an organization, FRUA believes in children's basic human right to grow up in families that love and protect them and get them the help they need to reach their potential, whatever that may be. We encourage humanitarian action by the Russian government, allowing those American families in-process to complete their adoptions.

In condemning this action, FRUA,has made a special point that our condemnation of this political action by the Russian government in no way relates to our great admiration for the people of Russia, millions of whom we know to be caring and generous, thousands of whom took care of our children prior to adoption, and who support the rights of orphan children to grow up in families. We point out that by adopting children from Russia, we have added the Russian heritage to our families forever.

Of course it is best for a child to be adopted by a family in the home country. But if no families there come forward to adopt them; then surely it is better for a child to be adopted by a willing family wherever they may be, than to leave that child to languish alone, in an institution, to grow up to an uncertain future. Since 1991, over 60,000 Russian orphans have been adopted, and are growing up... successful, happy, loved...in families in the United States. Because this is about the children...this is truly where the truth lies.

Sincere hope for a brighter 2013,

Jan Wondra

Vice Chair/Acting National Chair

National Board of Directors

Families for Russian and Ukrainian Adoption