1, 2, 3, its school...again.

The long, hot summer is over.

The months have sped by, though the thermometer is still registering record-setting temps. Many of the western and mid-west states headed back to classes a few weeks ago and the eastern seaboard will follow within a week or two. If you're like our family, we're officially transitioning from summer pool time, holiday celebrations and road trips, back into the routines of the next season. Parent after parent with whom I speak expresses some version of ... “I really don't know where the weeks went.” Whether your children are just entering school, are in high school, or heading out the door to college, I believe there are three things that we parents must do each year to help them reach their potential. These are true no matter what combination of adopted and/or biological kids for which we care, no matter their ages, their development stage, or their perceived abilities. Today.....

 #1. Love them and believe in them. I know this seems obvious, but there are days and seasons when our kids go through stages where they aren't the most lovable. There are dark times when we can't see the way forward. Times when we want to walk into a closet and close the door and let someone else handle the tantrums and reading comprehension challenges and medical issues. It doesn't hurt to remind ourselves that love is for the long term. Love....endures....As their parents, if we don't believe in our kids, no one else is likely to.

A sense of humor was invaluable. I found that quoting from joke books and favorite sayings could diffuse some ridiculous situations. (A favorite was “Really important stuff my kids have taught me,” Copeland Lewis.) The day I read "Some weeks you really need Saturday on a Wednesday" I knew I"d found a soul mate. I turned the page and read " As long as you don't look ahead in the workbook you can make it through today's lesson." For the days when it all just seems to be too much, remember 1,2,3. Tomorrow....#2.

Approaching Summer, Keeping the IEP in Mind.

FRUA National Education Chair, Pat Gerke has a Masters in Counseling and has worked in the field of Developmental Disabilities for over 25 years in a wide range of specialty areas including adult services (vocational and residential), healthcare, advocacy and spirituality/inclusion. She teaches two courses each spring related to Disabilities, at Rutgers University and she and her husband Jay adopted their two children, Matthew and Iryna, in Ukraine. This is her summer message to FRUA members:

Summer is upon us. While we all prepare for a much-deserved break, this is a good time, when the pressure is off, to consider the IEP. Have you, like so many of us, had to prepare for your child's IEP (Individualized Education Plan) meeting or is it still ahead? How DO you prepare? Do you go into it loaded with ammunition like you are armed and dangerous? Do you look forward to discussing your child's present level of performance -  or do you dread it?!

if you are like many FRUA members, the end of the school year and the spring IEP meeting can be filled with anxiety and worry. Self-doubt about what to expect or ask for can cloud judgment about what a child needs or is capable of achieving. Its is not too late to think through how things went and to plan for how you and your child will approach the fall semester. Summer is the time to ask questions, talk with other FRUA parent members and consult with experts to learn more. And it can also mean more time for you to be with and observe your child away from formal learning environments.

Remember, YOU are an equal member of an IEP team. Without you there really isn't a team! Get to know your child's PLEP, rights, strengths AND needs! Be ready to collaborate and compromise. But know what is non-negotiable as well! Always remember, YOU ARE the expert on your child, no one else!

Pat Gerke
FRUA National Education Chair